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Back when I had a Facebook, I used to hang around weird FB and join a bunch of groups. It got to the point where random trans women would send me friend requests, and I’d sometimes send out random friend requests to them if we had some mutuals. Dani, Adeline…


i’m at pride family medicine in austin. there is a needle in my hand and it’s frozen over my thigh. the needle is a 23 guage, inch and a half long thing. drawing the estradiol valerate suspension into it took a few seconds and a bit of pressure. it’s a…


i’m 16 and i think i’m a boy and i’m at the park with someone who thinks the same of themself. their name isn’t lyla yet, but it will be. We’ve been friends since the 7th grade, but lately we’ve started holding hands. I don’t remember how it started, but…


I’ve made a comfortable life for myself- a cushy and undemanding job as a software engineer, an apartment within walking distance of work. I usually roll out of bed around 9 and stumble into my office by 10:30. On any given day, I get maybe 2–4 hours’ work done, then…


I live in a nice apartment in East Austin now, and I work a 9–5 as a software engineer. It’s a pretty good life, a welcome respite from years of underemployment in the art world. My room is big. It has a high ceiling and light floods in through three…


There is a therapy-esque practice that my friend J keeps mentioning to me. I don’t know the specific name of it, but it is a form of meditation wherein you go to see an appropriate person, and tell them the story of your whole life, from start to finish, and…


The last time I wrote anything, it was my last week at Codesmith. I’m still figuring out a lot of things about how I feel and what I want. Mostly it feels like idle fantasy to me, but if I assess my life from outside, it seems like real changes…


I couldn’t tell you what it was. I only know that it’s there.

I’ve tried to describe it. I’ve told people I thought I was mildly autistic, or depressed, or- I told everyone that I was trans, then I told everyone I was just confused, then I told everyone that…


or, “You Can Be Depressed Anywhere in the World”

I’m in Athens, Greece right now, and I’m thinking about why I’m here. To see the Acropolis? Nah. To immerse myself in Greek culture? To learn the language? Nah. To take exciting touristy photos for Instagram? This gets the closest. The…


My grandfather died in November of 2017. He was 88 years old.

The process of losing him was an extended, painful one. It’s hard to say when it really began, but there was a decided shift when he decided to commit to palliative care. A doctor explained to him how…

tang

4'33" on a Steinway

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